Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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