whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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