Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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