I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We were destined to go to rehab together
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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