Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
