He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
