I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
