I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize