Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
