i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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