do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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