doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
