thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
