Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
