I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My life is pants optional.
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