at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
