i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
