Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
