I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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