Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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