you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
