I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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