I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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