So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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