I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
