giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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