i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
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He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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