shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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