And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
