When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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