There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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