You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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