my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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