College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just high enough for therapy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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