the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
