Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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