remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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