Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do vagina's smell?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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