Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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