Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
