Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
