I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
