we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
