I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Please don't give away my fajitas
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize