So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
