are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
