Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just want nice things and good sex
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
