Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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