I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
