drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
