I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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