I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't deserve a penis
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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