nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
