It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
