I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
