it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
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