She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
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