half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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