I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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