Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
