After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize