Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
