just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
