Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
